Dubai: Emotional violence towards children is as bad as physical abuse and leaves a child permanently scarred and unable to mature emotionally, a renowned family consultant said.
Children of violent parents often grow up to become violent parents themselves because children learn by example, Khalifa Mohammad Al Mehrezi, Head of Quality Department and Family Consultant at Dubai Courts, said.
Children who are deprived of love and compassion before the age of 15 keep on looking for them after they grow up and mature and are never satisfied no matter how much love they receive as adults, Al Mehrezi said.
"These people keep seeking love to no avail. Whether men or women, they become aggressive and turn into bullies. They also become playful and develop what we describe as a ‘Don Juan' character, because they have an emotional hunger that they cannot satisfy," he said.
Values acquired by 15 years
In a lecture about domestic violence and its effect on children, Al Mehrezi said children acquire all their values before they turn 15, and this is why parents were ordered to teach their children how to pray at an early age, as this will engrave the habit into the child's character.
The lecture was organised by Dubai Police as part of the childhood protection campaign that runs until the end of April.
"When a child turns 15, he starts developing habits rather than values. The process of emotional maturity begins after this age, and the child starts dealing with the values he learned in the first years of his life," he said.
Beating used as revenge
Beating by parents is not used as a means of discipline, but rather as revenge against their children for causing an inconvenience, and sometimes just to vent off steam. They argue that this is how they have been raised by their parents, and believe that they were not affected negatively by this upbringing.
Al Mehrezi highlighted that more than 77 per cent of men who beat their wives admitted that they had seen their fathers beat up their mothers, Al Mehrezi said, adding that 10 to 15 per cent of learning is achieved through what person reads, 13 to 20 per cent through what he hears, and 50 to 75 per cent is learnt from what a persons sees and hears.
"We have to learn from Prophet Mohammad (PBUH), who did not punish children when they did something wrong, but seized the opportunity to teach them how to do it right," he said.
View the original article here
No comments:
Post a Comment